So I was recently broken up with- recently meaning three weeks ago. However, I can't seem to get over the fact that I'm feeling abandoned without reason. I don't feel like we got much closure from the situation even though we're both now on the "friends" plane. Should I bring it up and try to talk about it with him?

I know what you mean. My ex and I are friends, but I don't know if I have closure. I mean, sometimes, when he looks at me, I just get all gushy. So, even if you and he are spending time together as friends, it can be hard. Are y'all still hanging out, or are you not talking?

We talk in the general sense as most friends seem to speak to one another. We don't hang out alone anymore. And God knows I still love him, but it's not hard because I can't be around him. It's more hard because I have always been the type that wanted to know WHY. I had to have it broken down barney style. Slowly, the pain ebbs every day and what I'm left with is an overwhelming sense of gratefulness that he can be happy where he's at. I recognize that if where he is best is without me, then that will have to be fine because I want what's best for him. That doesn't make it any easier not knowing why he broke it off...

We can't always know why. In fact, we know why much less often than we don't. Coming to peace with situations is about recognizing that we're okay. We're okay with who we are, the way that we behaved, and, if we're not okay with the way we behaved, taking a look at our own mistakes. It's about giving the situation time to fade and taking the time to heal our own hearts. It's about taking care of ourselves during difficult periods of our lives, but it's also about knowing that we will feel better. Another person cannot give us closure; even if he were to tell you why, you'd probably not feel any different. Just take care of yourself.

The answer is always "more self-care."

Love, Light and Healing,
Nan Little
123 Feel Better Wellness Advisor