Hello. I found this forum while searching for information about BPD and social anxiety.
I'm hoping to find some advice here about a problem I have. I'll apologize in advance for the length of this.

I'm pretty sure my best friend has BPD. She's been seeing a psychiatrist for some time now
who ( at least this is what she says) was giving her ridiculous amounts of xanax, despite the fact
she was in inpatient rehab for a vicodin addiction a few years ago. She's been increasingly irrational and seems, well, wasted everytime she stops over. Last week she told me her doctor encouraged her to take a leave of absence from work due to her "social anxiety". In the same breath she asked if she could meet me the same night at the neighborhood bar! She's now not working, shopping during the day and stopping at my house at night to smoke pot on my patio. She also makes the rounds at several friends houses and drives around at night smoking pot and taking God only knows what else.

The other day I gently pointed out that if she were in fact suffering from social anxiety, then shouldn't her doctor be trying to help her get back to work and not give her an excuse to sleep all day and go out (in public) all night? She burst into tears and that was the end of that.
( I should also point out that she lives at home with her parents and they pay for everything -including
the 4 or 5 cars she's wrecked in the past few years due to her pill popping and smoking.)

I honestly don't think she has a social anxiety disorder. I've read a lot about borderline and talked to a friend of mine who's a doctor and she clearly has many of the symptoms of BPD.
She's impulsive, manipulative, lies about silly things, binge eats, starts fights for no reason, etc...
I've spent a lot of time over the years worrying myself sick over her, and I'm actually at a point now where I can no longer can deal with her. The leave of absence really put me over the edge.

So what can I say to her? I have no way of knowing what her doctor really diagnosed her with but I can't imagine that he isn't aware of the possibility of BPD if I can figure it out.
How do you tell someone she may have something like BPD? And how do you help without enabling (which I and everyone around her has been doing for years)?

Thanks to everyone who read this and I'll look forward to any advice or guidance.