its late and i should be in bed... thats all i can see on most of these topics
my brother past away over 2 years ago and i still cant move on
we are sueing and believe that there will me some sort of compensation but all i want to do is kill the doctors and make them bleed .
i am 28 years old and have a family. i would say that i have the very real potential to become someone but there is just this cloud that is hanging around me that is clouding my judgement and it is distroying me.
i am on medication but i dont think it is working at all,
the doctor says that it is a very high dose but all i can see is blood and it is hurting my sole i dont even know why i am righting this, i should be talking to my wife, she is a lovely woman but i push her all the time so she snaps at me and makes me angry at her so i have an outlet, thanks for listning to my jibba jabba nonsense i will go back into my shell now good bye until later
Dark angel

i can imagine how you feel i also have a brother that is not feleing good and its a matter of timing...

but i know that God is the ONLY one that can help us and move us through all tis so my best for you is to do alot i mean laot of praying for healing...

hugs
rose

thanks for the support and i wish you and your brother well.

my brother was disabled and had the mental age of a 2 year old.
he could not speak for himself and he was pushed to one side because of this.
i day dream all the time a getting the doctors envolved and slitting there throat and watch them suffer. i think rationaly and know that this is nonsence but it is all that i think about.
it is killing me inside and it shows through my moods.
if you firmly believe in God. please pray for me because he aint lisning to me.

take care
dark angel

God is listening to you but he will just magically make all your problems go away. He will give you opportunities to change your mind set. Everyday is a new chance to change your attitude and how you feel about the situation. God has also given your brother a new opportunity to live just not as how you knew him. Death is simply a journey to a different part of life and it was his time to move on and he loves you and always will and would never want you to suffer like you are. Also he would not want you to push yourself away from your family because they ARE STILL alive and part of your life right now at this very moment and will be there for you if you let them. So let your brother go and take care of yourself and your family and wife before they are gone too. You can never change what happened but you can learn to understand how your brother is now, remember how he was and know he is doing so well where ever he is. Your life is still moving forward nothing good would come from hurting anyone especially yourself mentally or physically. I hope I helped good luck.

thank you,
yes my life is moving ahead.
it is just these feelings inside me that eat at my sole. i am constantly being asked whats wrong and that i always looked like i'm in deep thougt.
i would never hurt anybody physically, it is only a thought.
i am seeing my doctor on tuesday my wife has said its time to go back. i am just so lost at the moment and dont know where to turn. its like all these emotions are just twirling inside my head and building up pressure. the only thing is there is no real outlet.
i pray for peace and "a load off" i just want to breath again.
smile and be happy with what i have, to embrasse my children and create a loving childhood for them, to be a good provider.
it feels like i am fadeing into the abis of emptyness

my mind has no valves. the pressure is just building up, when will i reach my limit.
ONLY GOD KNOWS

peace amd much love
Dark Angel

Hi Dark Angel.

My best online buddy is called Devilblitz, and he calls me his Dark Angel.

It is good to know you have a family that you love, and are loved by.

I lost my brother last year too.
It took almost one year for him to die in the hospital, from a failed heart transplant....but that isn't what I really want to say to you.

Please, please, please be careful about going to medical doctors about emotional problems.

They will definately be able to write you a prescription for any number of pills that might take the pain away....but at what cost?

I had cancer myself.
Twice.

The cancer was killed using powerful drugs (chemo) and so I "survived."

Strange things began happening during chemo....pain being the worst of it.
PAIN...not "hurting" that began in the legs, and soon spread to the entire body, making me a cripple.

According to the doctors, this was not caused by the chemo.
Cancer was nothing compared to the Hell I was about to enter, at the hands of doctors and phrmaceutical companies....a Hell I still reside in, but am making effort to leave.

Next I was diagnosed with FM/CFS....I was already on antidepressent drugs, because.....well.....LOLOLOL....because I was a desperate IDIOT by that time and of course felt sad and anxious about the changes in my body and life.

These feelings are NATURAL to the human mind/body.
I did not understand that at the time.

It has now been 14 years since the cancer......and I am still unwell.
The list of drugs I have been on is extensive and frightening, when we consider that the long term effects of these drugs are simply unknown.

The antidepressents are the worst of them, and I truly believe are the cause of my continued debillitation. Once you are on them, it is very difficult to get off of them.

Sure.....they stop the agony....but HEY so does HEROIN OK?
The only difference I can see......is that antidepressents are more readily available, and MORE DANGEROUS to try and get off of!

I found happiness by learning a different way of viewing unhappiness.
I learned this different way from (years of study with) the monks of His Holiness the Dalai Lama, and by good fortune, from His Holiness himself....but I am NOT suggesting this for you. We must each find our own way to mental stability, and we are each unique.....but again I digress.

I found daily happiness in an unlikely spot.....a small village in the foothills of the Himalaya, where I experienced life, love, laughter and joy....but guess what? When the American Drugs I was on wore off....I became so ill I had to return to the USA and am now STUCK in a place that does not make me happy because my brain chemistry is so screwed up from all of the years of antidepressent drugs!

It's not just a return of depression, but problems with the brain itself which has been changed by these powerful drugs!

So........because I did not know that it is our j-o-b as human beings, to learn to cope with our emotions and took the quick fix of antidepressent drugs, I am now a prisoner both mentally and physically of those drugs. I have decided that if this body cannot live/cope without them, well then perhaps it should not be alive at all.

I am in my 6th week of AGONY that comes with discontinuing these drugs, because I truly want to leave this country and go live where I am happy....and these drugs are simply not available there. YES I feel sadness and depression, but this is a part of being human.

It would be so much easier to go back to the pills, but I will NOT do this!
I will suffer until I am FREE to go and live where and how I please.

So please DO NOT begin antidepressent drugs, or if you do......please make it for a very short period.

Look directly at the sadness and impatience and discomfort you are experiencing.
These cannot do you anywhere near as much harm as antidepressent drugs can and will do.

Oh...and to dissapate those feelings?
RUN....LOL....run hard and fast and regularly.
This is proven to do the same job as antidepressents.

It took me 2 years of struggle, to get these painful legs to run on an elptical training machine....but I DID it and I am DOING it and can see success and happiness ahead!

I wish you comfort and peace...............

Kindnsruls

I dont take medication becuase i want to.
i need to.
my life and judgement is comprimised if i dont!!!
i appreciate everybodies opinion but i am in no way able to take off to another country and "be happy"
i am happy with life in itself and have a buisness that i have established from nothing.
my discisions are focussed on my family and not just me.
i thank you for your opinion and wish you all the best in yiour venture and hope that you prosper in every way.
i will continue to take my meds and talk to my medical team in respect to what is right for me

all the best

Dark Angel